Snacking with Darcy and Lizzy
Sort of. We found a restaurant review in the Sydney Morning Herald that invoked Jane Austen’s characters rather hilarious.
I was never into Jane Austen, but I know enough from watching Sunday night bonnet dramas to realise that being labelled Wickham by my friends Darcy and Elizabeth is not entirely a good thing.
“But I don’t want to be Wickham,” I protest.
“You’re so Wickham.”
“No, I’m not. Why can’t I be Bingley?”
“Too affable. You’re Wickham.”
“Yeah, get us another beer, Wickers.”
Days pass. Darcy remains uptight and aloof. Elizabeth is continually heartsick though headstrong. I continue to be a scoundrel and a cad. “Let’s get a burger,” I suggest when Darcy’s out of earshot.
Poor guy. Anyone who begs to be Bingley should be allowed to be Bingley, don’t you think?
As we sometimes reach up to the top shelf (next to Grandma’s cookie jar, as the hockey game announcers say) for an Austenian metaphor, especially on a slow news week, we could appreciate the following:
Had Wickham ever taken Miss Bennett into town for a burger their carriage might have pulled up at an address not unlike 332-334 Kent Street. Or not. This last sentence may read like a winning transition but, sadly, it’s historically inaccurate. The building wasn’t completed until 1884. It has a carriageway, however.
Care to have a chat with a couple of film adapters and directors, O Anonymous Reviewer? 
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