We tremble for the future

Standard

In a desperate attempt to reach out to the Disaffected Youth of Today, the Allentown Morning Call gave a column cleverly named iThink (get it? get it? you put a lower-case I in front of a normal title case capital and the kids, with their iPods and iThings, they just eat it up!) so that said Disaffected Youth might take their entitled whinging public. To wit, the pleadings of one young lady who thinks her summer reading program is toooo haaaaarrrrrrrrd:

The problem with Emmaus High School’s reading list is that it contains a bunch of boring, ridiculously long books written by authors who are no longer alive and were never good to begin with.

The lists lack ideal selections for boys with titles such as ”Atonement” by Ian McEwan and ”Pride & Prejudice” by Jane Austen.

Ian McEwan is no longer alive? We hadn’t heard. But, oh horrors! That BOYS might be forced to read Jane Austen! Cooties! Those books have Cooties!

The only point of summer reading is to write essays when you get back to school. This is practically pointless because as soon as you give your teacher your essay you can expect a nice big C on the paper in the pretty red ink.

If her essays are the same quality as this “article,” that surprises us not at all. Have some fail, dearie.

Truck of Fail