Jane: Yes, your majesty?
Thorin: Perhaps it has escaped your notice, madam, but you are at present under threat of a troll attack.
Troll: HELLO! I AM TROLL!
Jane: Oh…yes, I see.
Thorin: It would be my honour to defend you against this abominable creature, madam.
Jane: I hardly think that necessary, your majesty. He’s just a Good Luck Troll.
Troll: I BRING LUCK! GOOD GOOD LUCK!
Thorin: Back, foul beast! Touch one hair…er…one piece of plastic on this fair maiden and I will smite you!
Troll: WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?
Jane: Oh, you are a poppet! *strokes his hair*
Thorin: Miss Austen, you are in imminent danger! I do request that you step back and let me send him back to the hell from which he sprung!
Jane: Someplace dark, and far underground, I suppose.
Thorin: Yes! ….wait a minute…
Jane: One should never judge by first impressions, your majesty.
Thorin. No, madam.
Jane: Now why don’t you put away your large Elven sword, and step back?
Thorin: Yes, madam. *mutters* damn damn damn damn…
Jane: I beg your pardon?
Thorin: Nothing, madam.