The Derbyshire Force Team (Col. Brandon, Tibby, and Fizzer) have been sent to extract Mr. Darcy with extreme prejudice.
THE FABULOUS HIGH-TECH AUSTENBLOG WORLD HQ, April 12, 2010 – The Editrix would like to officially announce that from this day forward, Captain Frederick Wentworth, R.N. is to be referred to as Sir Ratty McFinkleton.* ** +
Why? Because he is a ratfink.
A person regarded as contemptible, obnoxious, or otherwise undesirable.
Why do we say so? Read this! READ IT!
On one other question which perhaps her utmost wisdom might not have prevented, she was soon spared all suspense; for, after the Miss Musgroves had returned and finished their visit at the Cottage she had this spontaneous information from Mary: —
“Captain Wentworth is not very gallant by you, Anne, though he was so attentive to me. Henrietta asked him what he thought of you, when they went away, and he said, `You were so altered he should not have known you again.'”
Mary had no feelings to make her respect her sister’s in a common way, but she was perfectly unsuspicious of being inflicting any peculiar wound.
“Altered beyond his knowledge.” Anne fully submitted, in silent, deep mortification. Doubtless it was so, and she could take no revenge, for he was not altered, or not for the worse. She had already acknowledged it to herself, and she could not think differently, let him think of her as he would. No: the years which had destroyed her youth and bloom had only given him a more glowing, manly, open look, in no respect lessening his personal advantages. She had seen the same Frederick Wentworth.
“So altered that he should not have known her again!” These were words which could not but dwell with her. Yet she soon began to rejoice that she had heard them. They were of sobering tendency; they allayed agitation; they composed, and consequently must make her happier.
Honestly, it’s enough to break your heart. “Altered beyond his knowledge,” indeed. RATFINK, I SAY.
*Yes we know we said McFinkelson on Twitter, but we changed our mind. Work with us here.
**We thought about calling him Grudgey McGrudgerson as well, but that doesn’t quite get across the extent of our anger at Sir Ratty.
+Don’t worry, we’ll get over it, right around the Long Walk, judging by past experience.