Comedian Russell Brand has had to bow out of Jane Austen Handheld due to previous commitments.

It could have been a stroke of inspired casting: louche comic Russell Brand as the dastardly Wickham in a spoof remake of Pride and Prejudice, alongside mouthy singer Lily Allen as Lydia, the headstrong flirt with whom Wickham elopes. Sadly, Brand has said he will be too busy to take up the role in the film, called Jane Austen Handheld, which will retell the Austen classic in the form of a fly-on-the-wall documentary and is due to go into production next year.

“I met Lily when she came on my radio show and I thought she was fantastic,” Brand says. “It’s a pity, as I’d have loved to run off together and have my wicked way with her.”

So this sounds like it’s going forward…who will play Lizzy and Darcy? Shall we start a letter-writing campaign to Stephen Fry to ask him to cast Richard Armitage as Darcy? Might be the last chance to get him in an Austen adaptation, and imagine him doing those one-on-one camera journal things like in The Office, wondering why Elizabeth doesn’t like him, or oh dear God Wickham’s shown up!

*cackles evilly, stands back as Armitage Army stampedes*